for english

This text production study has been in ‘reply’ to the poem found in Blue Light, Clear Atoms. Second Edition. Page 124 – 127, titled, ‘TO MY CHILDREN UNKNOWN, PRODUCED BY ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION’ – James Kirkup.


To My Father Unknown,

On my 15th birthday, I learnt that my father was not really my father. You are my father - a sperm donor. I am a teenager who may have a dozen or more half siblings. You’re Swedish too – therefore I guess I’m half Swedish too.

Father unknown, I want to know so much. Who am I? What do you look like? Is your hair blonde like mine? Do you laugh when you’re angry like I do? Or did you only laugh when you’re willingly raped in a laboratory, receive your money, and realise it’s so well paid and easy. Did you go back on numerous occasions to donate even more?

Have you ever seen a boy with eyes you recognized, your own eyes? Did you have to look twice and consider that he could have been your own? I find it hard walking down the street, seeing someone that looks like me, knowing that possibly that person is my biological sister, brother, father, uncle, aunt, cousin, grandfather, or grandmother. But not you?

Did you remember us, the children of the experiment you enthusiastically participated in? Or did you just project and take your check – no understanding of the consequences ahead. I hope you got paid enough to never see me again.

My questions are endless and my thoughts will never cease. Where are you, father unknown? Mum has told me not to worry, to have no concern – because without you, there would be no me. And so I thank you, Father, you have given me life, and my mother, the son she had always dreamed of.

But have no concern, Anonymous. We will never meet on our own accord. And you’ll never read this letter.

Goodnight, father - man whom I’ll never meet, man whom I’ll never love.

S.

p.s. Mum says thanks.

P.p.s. Are you even alive?