for english

This text production study has been in ‘reply’ to the poem found in Blue Light, Clear Atoms. Second Edition. Page 124 – 127, titled, ‘TO MY CHILDREN UNKNOWN, PRODUCED BY ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION’ – James Kirkup.


To My Father Unknown,

On my 15th birthday, I learnt that my father was not really my father. You are my father - a sperm donor. I am a teenager who may have a dozen or more half siblings. You’re Swedish too – therefore I guess I’m half Swedish too.

Father unknown, I want to know so much. Who am I? What do you look like? Is your hair blonde like mine? Do you laugh when you’re angry like I do? Or did you only laugh when you’re willingly raped in a laboratory, receive your money, and realise it’s so well paid and easy. Did you go back on numerous occasions to donate even more?

Have you ever seen a boy with eyes you recognized, your own eyes? Did you have to look twice and consider that he could have been your own? I find it hard walking down the street, seeing someone that looks like me, knowing that possibly that person is my biological sister, brother, father, uncle, aunt, cousin, grandfather, or grandmother. But not you?

Did you remember us, the children of the experiment you enthusiastically participated in? Or did you just project and take your check – no understanding of the consequences ahead. I hope you got paid enough to never see me again.

My questions are endless and my thoughts will never cease. Where are you, father unknown? Mum has told me not to worry, to have no concern – because without you, there would be no me. And so I thank you, Father, you have given me life, and my mother, the son she had always dreamed of.

But have no concern, Anonymous. We will never meet on our own accord. And you’ll never read this letter.

Goodnight, father - man whom I’ll never meet, man whom I’ll never love.

S.

p.s. Mum says thanks.

P.p.s. Are you even alive?

37 days

oh yeah. 37 days till shanghai.

Anyway, i had a really great day today... until 5 minutes ago. Girls fucking suck. But whatever, I'M DEALING!

So what is going on in december in shanghai? Any good DJs?

I want to fly there NOW!.

So i've decided to write this blog, to a be a complete copycat of others i have seen.

See, lots of people write blogs prior to travelling overseas. Which i think sounds like an awesome idea, an a great way to remember your trip. And now that i have my own macbook, i wonder why not.

Anyway, i swear i'm much funnier and more interesting than i'm portraying myself to be right now.

At the moment, i'm living in Adelaide, Australia. If you have ever been unlucky enough as to travel to this boring and water-restricted city, i feel for you. And understand why i'm so excited to be getting out of here for 2 months. I'm going back to Shanghai, China. One of the biggest, most populated, best cities in the world. I went there at the same time last year, and wow, did i have a good time.

But this time, i'm flying by myself. The last time, i was flying with a chinese woman, who got me straight through and i don't know what she did, or if she gave them money for airport tax, or so forth. So if anyone here has flown to Pudong Airport... HELP PLEASE!

I'm leaving on the 19th december, which is a fair while away. Which is horrible. I hate waiting. I want to go NOW. Besides the fact that i'm leaving my girlfriend back in Adelaide. Which is also going to be horrible. I get upset if we haven't seen each other for a day, let alone over a month. I'm not sure how i'm going to do without her.

Anyway, i should come back and write something else soon. I'll find something good to write this time.

Check out my myspace while you are at it
www.myspace.com/biiankababii

(i made it when i was 13 okay!)

Bianka.